If you’ve recently had a breakup with your ex and wondering on what to do next in getting back together with him or her, then the No Contact Rule should be an important starting point. The No Contact Rule simply means that you cut off all communication with your ex for some amount of time immediately after the breakup.
It is a very important and effective strategy in getting your ex back if properly implemented. The question however begging for an answer is how to carry out this rule effectively. The No Contact Rule really works and below we try to illustrate how best to implement this strategy.
Using the No Contact Rule essentially involves you cutting off all communication links between you and your ex while taking the time to make self-improvement efforts in your physical and emotional life. It is not meant for you to simply stop communicating with your ex. It is meant for you to reconnect with yourself on all levels, process the breakup and then when ready, initiate the final stage of getting back together with your ex.
After the breakup, there is always tension between you and your ex; therefore it is necessary to avoid calling each other for some few days to allow both of you to calm down. When you are now up to it, you can now call him or her. You need to be unruffled and after the exchange of pleasantries, apologize for the breakup and thereafter, kindly tell your now ex that you would like some time to yourself and that you would appreciate them not communicating with you during this period.
On the other hand, if they refuse picking your call, then either way, you can start with the No Contact Rule. In summary, you can initiate a No Contact Rule by any of the methods below:
- You decide to call your ex and tell them of your decision to stop communicating with them and asking them to also stop communicating with you.
- You simply cut off all forms of communication existing hitherto between you and your ex without any notifications.
- You stop communicating with them but still allow them to communicate with you while you still reply.
Generally, options 1 and 2 are the best options you really have. The third option has the tendency of worsening issues since your ex initiates communication with you while you never do. This can with time make your ex annoyed with you which is not the intention of this rule.
Also, while carrying out this rule, it is important to avoid the following:
- Doing anything purposely to provoke a reaction from your ex.
- Initiating any form of communication that could start a “friendly” relationship between you and your ex
- Calling your ex for any reason whatsoever except for a major emergency.
Basically, having any contact with your ex defeats the main objective of this rule. You are meant to discretely and absolutely avoid any form of contact with your ex. However, a lot of people think that once they have started the No Contact Rule, that any form of communication at all from that point on means the failure of the process. This is completely wrong as you’re being unnecessarily hard on yourself.
Certain situations will require that you break this rule for a while and resume again. These include situations where you have kids between you, work for the same company and necessarily have interactions whenever the occasion calls for it or in an emergency that involves both of you. You therefore need to be discrete and realistic with the No Contact Rule.
Despite the importance of the No Contact Rule, remember that time is still of the essence in winning your ex back. You don’t want to stay away from them for too long and therefore need to know when exactly to call it off. There is no set time for getting through this process so you will have to use your discretion to assess the situation and come to a conclusion on what the signs from your ex are saying exactly.
While it may look easy to implement, care has to be taken in not overdoing things. The benefits of the No Contact Rule make it a very important process to go through as you attempt getting back together with your ex.