Having acknowledged the importance and effectiveness of the No Contact Rule in winning your ex back, it is also important to have a good idea of how long to implement this rule. You certainly do not want to be forgotten by your ex while you are implementing this rule. So, what timeframe is best for implementing the No Contact Rule?
The truth however is that there is no specific timeframe that can be set for this process. Everyone’s situation is different and then again no two exes are exactly the same in temperament – a very important factor when determining how long the No Contact Rule should run for.
A period of about 2 to 4 weeks at the most should do just fine and can be extended only when absolutely necessary. All things being equal, the longer you have no contact with your ex, the more they are likely to miss you. The more distance and less communication between you and your ex the easier it will be for you to implement this rule. Thus you will make better progress when you don’t see your ex at all for quite some time than when you see them every other day and out of politeness have to exchange pleasantries.
There are times your ex may even want to test whether you are serious about your decision of not communicating with them by trying to resume normal communication with you and even opening new communication channels in cases where you have closed the ones they had before. When this is too early into the No Contact Rule period, it is best for you to stand your ground and stick to the No Contact Rule with them. Using the No Contact Rule takes time and it would not be good for you to rush through it or you may have to repeat it over again.
You may feel that not responding to your ex’s attempts at contacting you after the breakup may harm your chances of getting back together with them but the reverse is the case here. It is the concern of them losing you that is making them to check up on you due to the effect of the No Contact Rule. If the attempts were made towards the end of the No Contact Rule, and you feel that you are emotionally strong enough to embark on reconnecting with your ex, then you can break the No Contact Rule and proceed to reconnect.
However, if with time they don’t start making attempts at getting back to you, then it would be wise to start taking decisive actions toward getting your ex back. In essence, you have to stop using the No Contact Rule and start looking for opportunities to resume communication with your ex.
During these initial dates, all you need are light, short and general conversations. It is not a period for you to start telling them how much you miss them and how lonely you’ve been since the breakup. These will only be counter-productive. Take your time during these dates and gauge how much you think your chances of winning them back are for now. Only when you are at least 75% sure of winning them over should you proceed to asking to get back together with them.
You will know that you are ready to discontinue the No Contact Rule when you get to a point in the process, where not talking to your ex no longer hurts you during the course of your normal day. However it would be better if you can get to the point where you can go for days without having to think about your ex at all. Getting to this point allows you to be in a very good frame of mind, with renewed energy and confidence as you move to the next stage of getting back together with your ex.